Countdown
by Grant P. Ferguson
Before I tell you my secret, let me ask you a few questions. Do you really want to know when you’re going to die? If you knew, how would your life change? And here’s the clincher. Would you tell someone if you knew when they were going to die?
Forty-five days have passed since an army of AI-powered nanobots declared war on my brain tumor, and I’ve told only three people what I’m about to share with you.
After my experimental procedure, I blinked several times, but the shimmering digits still hovered over the doctor’s head. I told Dr. Cassidy, but he didn’t seem too concerned, leaving me to wonder about the strange side effect.
Before I left the hospital, the doctor reminded me of the nondisclosure agreement. The hospital board only approved the use of nanobots because of my inoperable tumor caused by stage IV cancer.
I kept my mouth shut but paid attention to the visions, jotting notes about the people and their numbers. Most shimmering digits ranged between ten and twenty. On my first day home from the hospital, I watched my neighbor’s daughter Gloria, a seventh grader, playing in the backyard with her dog. A thirty-seven floated above her head.
Two weeks later, I witnessed a terrible automobile accident. The older driver staggered from his crumpled car and fell onto the street. I raced across two lanes of traffic to help. In the blink of an eye, his number dropped from sixteen to zero. My ham-fisted attempts at CPR did nothing for the poor guy. No change in the zero above his head until it flickered and disappeared.
I arrived home stunned, looked in the mirror, and there it was—my number—hovering at twenty-five. Desperate to distract my mind from the horrific accident, I grabbed a novel and headed to the patio for quiet time. After settling into the lounger, laughter and barking broke the silence.
Through the chain-link fence, I watched as the giggling young girl launched the chewed frisbee. The oversized Labrador enjoyed the game as much as her. He woofed, snatched the disc, and waddled over to Gloria. She patted Gonzo’s head, and he dropped the slobbery toy at her feet. Then, they played another round of fetch.
Their game put a smile on my face, and I went back to reading. My eyes plucked random words from the page, much like pulling on a loose thread. Unable to get back into the story, I laid down my book and watched Gloria and Gonzo play.
Then it hit me—the shimmering digits over Gloria’s head were five less than when I came home from the hospital. Memory loss? I wasn’t sure, so I checked my notes.
A few days later, while sitting in my favorite patio chair and sipping a cup of coffee, my neighbor’s back door clapped. I waved to Mrs. Mooring. She smiled, and her gloved hand waved back before tending to the collection of red roses clinging on the chain-link fence. Gonzo bounded across the lawn in search of the frisbee. Gloria followed, but instead of playing fetch, she strolled over to her mom. Above her head, the number had dropped—again.
Like a slow-motion video, I watched as my mind replayed the horrible accident and the man’s death. Bile clawed up my throat. I needed to do something, but what? Gloria’s mother trimmed the red roses, and their perfume drifted over the fence. I had to tell her about Gloria, even if she thought I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had. I rushed to the fence but struggled with what to say and played it safe.
“Beautiful.”
Mrs. Mooring kept snipping. “How’s your recovery?”
“Well, not so good. Seeing things.”
She stopped cutting and locked eyes with me. “Like what?”
The words gushed from my mouth like water from a firehose. I described the shimmering digits above everyone’s head. Next, I shared the dread of witnessing the terrible accident. Then I told her about seeing the drop in Gloria’s number.
Mrs. Mooring tilted her head. “You mean… you think a drop in the number comes before death?”
“Yes.” I realized my answer was too blunt. “Not sure, but I think the lower the number, the closer to death.”
She set down the clippers, and I thought Mrs. Mooring wanted to know the number above her head. Instead, Gloria’s mother shot rapid-fire questions about the accident and kept digging for details. I answered, giving her everything I could recall, but she asked for more.
With tears pooled around her eyes, Mrs. Mooring leaned forward and gripped my forearm with her trembling hand. “Last week, the doctor tested Gloria’s blood, but the results were inconclusive.”
She described the blur of events after a referral to the oncologist. Her shoulders shuddered, and her lips quivered. Tears dropped as she explained what Gloria would experience once treatments began.
My tear buckets tilted, threatening to spill at any moment. I ignored the rosebush thorns, reached over the fence, and held her hands.
She said, “The worst part is waiting for the results of the second test. I don’t know what to do?” Tears streaked her cheeks, pooling into drops on the roses. “Who’s your doctor?”
Weeks later, from my perch on the patio lounger, I waved hello to Mrs. Mooring. Her eyes twinkled as she nodded before turning her attention to the roses. I caught a whiff of the lovely flowers.
Gonzo barked on his frisbee hunt. Gloria stepped into the sunlight. The shimmering digits hovered, holding steady at forty.
The seventh grader noticed me sitting on the patio and grinned. She pointed above my head before shouting something no one else besides me and her mother would understand. “Twenty-five. Great number!”
After weeks of wondering, I now know. Not a side effect, but a lifesaver.
Biography
Grant’s most notable achievement is staying married to the same women for nearly half a century.
Grade school planted in him the storytelling seed. In that hall of learning, an under tall 6th-grader stood on tiptoes, snatched his favorite science fiction anthology from the top shelf, and traveled to strange worlds and met bizarre aliens. Then he doodled about those adventures.
After decades of corporate life, his initial attempts to write fiction read more like a business proposal. Grant went on a multi-year quest to discover and curate the best of what bestselling authors already figured out. He turned that research into a writing system. The method and encouragement he had searched for a decade earlier.
Grant P. Ferguson is the author and graphic designer of the Trellis Method: A Unique Writing System and its 50+ visual aids.
Learn more at https://tameyourbook.com/the-trellis-method/.
Attendance with Links
Thank you to everyone who attended this Story Chat Digest session. Without your input, Story Chat is an average writing challenge. Your helpful, honest comments make this like a book club. If you get a chance, check out our attendees’ blogs. It’s well worth your time.
- Darlene Foster’s Blog
- Esther Chilton
- Keep It Alive
- Priorhouse Blog
- Still Restless Jo
- Tame Your Book
- Times and Tides of a Beachwriter
- Uniquely Fit Discussion about suicide during mental health awareness month – no comments
- Willowdot21
- Writing Wrinkles
Story Chat Instagram Ad
Read it on Kindle or paperback today – $14.99. Purchasing the Kindle version is on sale for a short time for $2.99, and Kindle Unlimited is free to you and provides credit to us for each page read.
Exciting Story Chat Volume II Video
I hope you enjoy the video.
Story Chat Volume II Book Blog Tour Schedule
- Colleen Chesebro – November 24, 2024 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Gloria – November 29 (UK)
- Robbie & Michael – November 30 (SA)
- Diana – December 1 (US)
- Doug – December 2 (AU) December 1 (US, UK, SA) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Cathy – December 4 (UK) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Amanda – December 9 (AU) December 8 (US, UK, SA)
- Dan– December 11 (US)
- Philip – December 14 (UK)
- Cindy Georgekas – December 16 (US)
- Esther Chilton – January 30 (UK ) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- D. L. Finn – February 4 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Yvette – February 5 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Hugh – January 27 (UK)
Story Chat: Online Literary Conversations
Thanks again for being a great part of Always Write’s Story Chat Digest. Until next time, keep reading, writing and chatting.
Marsha Ingrao Always Write 
70 responses to “Story Chat Digest: Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson”
[…] Story Chat Digest: “Countdown” by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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[…] Story Chat Digest: “Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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[…] Story Chat Digest: “Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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[…] Story Chat Digest: “Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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[…] special in my life – and then Marsha Ingrao and I chatted about Chuck a few times (again at Grant Gerguson’s awesome Story Chat post here) – so when I saw this used paperback, Three Steps Forward, Two Steps back, I grabbed […]
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What a great story that keep me hooked all the way to the end. And it was so easy to read – no words that had me wondering what on earth they meant. The story moves along at the perfect pace, Grant. There was nothing in it that was redundant.
The story reminded me very much of an episode from Doctor Who entitled ‘Heaven Sent.’ However, the number appeared on the back of a person’s neck and continued to count down to the point of death. As a huge fan of Science-Fiction, I loved at how this story touched on science fiction in scenes so realistic to real life.
I love the peaks and troughs in the story too. Too many stories run at the same level with no peaks or troughs, rendering them dull. This story was the perfect rollercoaster of a ride when reading.
I can’t help but wonder how the narrator will have got around the signing of the nondisclosure agreement, though. Or am I barking up the wrong tree? Maybe you can enlighten me, Grant?
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This one is right up your alley, Hugh. I love your analysis. The ability to see and read numbers would be a great asset for those who work in Hospital Emergency Rooms.
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It sure is, Marsha.
Some would see it as a great asset, while others would not. I don’t think there would be problems seeing blood pressure and pulse numbers, but when it comes to how much time people have left – no thank you. Count me out of that one.
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If they knew it was absolutely impossible to save someone in the Emergency room, they wouldn’t even try. Now, there is triage, and at least loved ones have the hope that the most seriously wounded or sick will have the fiercest fights for their lives. I think our final directives are something like that in a way. My first husband had a Do Not Resuscitate designation on this file. On his last day the Emergency Room refused to treat him for even pain until my friend, who is a lawyer fought for him. They finally gave him some morphine, and he died in a few hours. A social worker came in and talked to me and asked me why I didn’t want him to die at home. So there are definite disadvantages to having Emergency Room staff seeing your survival number.
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[…] Story Chat Digest: “Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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Very interesting story Grant. I remember watching a video where everyone had a number blinking over their heads or foreheads, but it had the same implications. Loved how he was able to save Gloria. Wonderfully written story
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Yay for the hero! 🙂
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👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
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our friend at writers’ group recently had deep brain stimulation to control her tremors, nothing to do with tumours, but basically from our limited understanding and writers’ curiosity, she has an implant that can be controlled!? I love Grant’s story because most of us cannot comprehend how our brains work, nor what interference might do. This is a new take on an old theme, there have always been people who claim to foresee deaths.
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Wow, a deep brain stimulation. I hope it worked. You are so right that we don’t understand how our brains work, but it sounds like they are coming a long way. 🙂
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Wow, this story had me going and I was freaking out.. Namely because I’m half falling asleep.. it’s not the story, promise,
Grea story that grabbed my attention from start to finish! 🙌🏽💕
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I’m glad I’m okay, now! LOL Love you to pieces, Cindy 🙂 xxx
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Hahahah me too.. Awww love you too~! 💓
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Grant, your story gripped me from the off. It made me question how I would feel in this situation. You make us think all the way through and it’s a compelling read to get to the final sentence which, by the way, is an ideal finish.
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Great comment, Esther! BTW, I think there are a few more comments on your story if you haven’t read Hugh’s.
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I’ve been over to check. Thank you, Marsha xx
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As I read on, I saw that you had! Thanks Esther. You did a great service to Story Chat with your story! It was well received, and we were all relieved that he finally got the home he deserved. 🙂 xxx
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I’ve been amazed at all the wonderful comments the story received. Story Chat is such a wonderful community to be part of 🥰 Thank you, Marsha xxx
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, Esther. We do have a great group of people.
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Thank you, Ester. I strived for subtle narrative drive, so noticing the build up and close made my day. I enjoyed your story in early May, and the style and word choices for the young boy worked for me. I hoped the boy found his forever home, longing to find out what happens. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
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Please forgive my typo, Esther. Time to my fat fingers on a diet!
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So that is what causes typos! 🙂
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😅
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Thank you, Grant. I do like a story that builds and you did that so well.
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Great comment, Esther. 🙂 xxx
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[…] is also our new author this month for Story Chat. If you haven’t read his story, “Countdown,” you’ll love it. Darlene Foster says it’s sci-fi. The protagonist has an amazing ability […]
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Thanks, Willow, and kudos on your book launch with Dan! I appreciate your feedback.
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Hi Marsha , Grant and everyone .
Grant I really enjoyed your story it had me captived. Well done 💜💜
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Opps! Please see my reply posted above yours. Thanks again, Willow!
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[…] Story Chat Digest: Countdown by Grant P. Ferguson […]
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I would hate to be able to predict for someone else. As I’m well into my 70s I don’t think I’d be as concerned at finding out when I’m to go. It might spur me on to do stuff. It works well as a short story. Thanks, Grant!
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Yeah, I’d better get busy, too! LOL! I’ve had so many close calls in the last five years, I don’t take the hint easily. 🙂 xxxxxxxx
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Stick around, hon. We love you xx
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Awwww. I love you and all my blogger friends, too. xxxxxxxxxx
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Thank you for the comments, and like many, there’s not an answer that fits all of us.
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I enjoyed this post, Grant, ad your writing had such a nice flow. Also, there was such an upbeat vibe with such a heavy topic – and that is not easy to accomplish.
I do not think everyone can handle knowing when they will die and my husband (been married for 30 years – and that is a gift from God in my view) anyhow, he says that wants to go out of this world quickly – and we call it “healthy happy dead”- with a DNR – This is not everyone’s preference – ha
And our former neighbor, Carroll, had an ending that way. Super healthy for the 15 years of his retirement – yard stuff six days a week – then had some dizzy spells in late summer – – they found a blood cancer – and he died that winter – not long and drawn out – but enough to prepare and say goodbye –
and by the way – it sounds like you had some beautiful moments with your dad – and I smiled to read in the comments how your wife did the dishes so you could hat with your day.
heart tug stuff in this post and comment thread….
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Thank you, and I appreciate the feedback. As you mentioned, not everyone holds the same view of how to handle the end-of-life challenges. I thank God for my health, happiness, and energy, and like ripe fruit, best enjoyed right now. I’m in the DNR camp with your husband, and I’ll leave the timing to the Almighty. My current writing project — a mystery — includes a subplot and theme that I’m calling the David Code, a life focused on getting and keeping a heart for God. I believe we learn best by experience, and when that’s not available, then by story. That belief is why I encourage fiction writers to make the most of their opportunities to shape the lives of young and old through stories. For example, Sara Brunsvold’s The Extraordinary Deaths of Mrs. Kip does a magnificent job of describing her life and death strategy, and like a waterfall, created a cascade of generational blessings. If you like heart tugs, Brunsvold’s novel promises many.
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Brunsvold’s novel sounds interesting
and right now I am listening to all of these Chuck Swindoll recordings from 1979 and 1980 (They were digitized in 2011 and can be accessed on the Insight for living app). My fav is the Laugh Again 14 messages – but the reason I am sharing about it is because I just finsihed the OT books and only Chuck can make the OT come alive in ways that relate to today – I was impressed and grateful.
Anyhow, one of the stories that came up from Chuck was about a man who tried to kill himself – in the sermon, a real-life story about a man who attempted to take his own life but faced a series of interventions that prevented him from succeeding. According to Swindoll, the man tried to kill himself by falling on a knife, but the knife broke. When he tried to jump from a stagecoach, the driver refused to let him jump. This story is often used to illustrate the theme of divine intervention and the idea that God is in control of the day of death – so good – and such a good reminder – my dad used to say “when your number is up, your number is up” and I liked that
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Over the years, I’ve read and appreciated many of Swindoll’s views on life and God. For example, as I researched the David Code, I came across Great Lives: David: A Man of Passion and Destiny. In the blurb for that book, Swindoll says it’s the perfect gift for fans of the House of David series. Like you said, Swindoll has a gift for making the OT come alive.
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Grant, thanks for sharing that! and pretty awesome that Chuck, and his wife Cynthia, are still alive and well.
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That I didn’t know. He seemed pretty old to me at the time.
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I just looked and he was born in 1934 and his wife in 1939
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Wow, they are getting up there!
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I know – and I think it was only last Fall when Chuck retired – I heard it on the news and was able to record it – because it was so fun – and he only retired from preaching – he plans to still work with the radio ministry of Insight for Living ….
and how fun that so many of us have enjoyed various things from Chuck over the years – it is nice to have this in common and I really enjoyed this post and the comment thread….
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You never know where the comments will head! 🙂 xxx
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To name drop just a bit, I got to see Chuck Swindoll when he came to Portland to speak at our church. Our pastor had some of the greats come to speak – Joni Erickson, and Corrie ten Boom to name a few. It was an exciting time in my young Christian life.
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Oh I bet that was an exciting time!
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It really was. On top of being a new Christian, getting to meet all these inspirational people spoiled me. 🙂 xxx
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There are some disadvantages to the DNR camp, though. When both my husband and my mother were at the end and in great pain, I had such a hard time getting the hospital to accept them even to give them pain medication. Fortunately, my best friend is an attorney, and she called the ambulance for my husband and went with me. A social worker came into the emergency room with me while she talked to the doctor. He put his hand on my leg, and said, “Why don’t you want him to die at home?” I almost threw up on him. From then on I got up, moved away from him and couldn’t even look at him. I just wanted to get him out of pain. Both times the emergency doctors were reluctant to give them ANYTHING! Both of them died within hours of administering the pain medication.
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This is right up your alley, Yvette. Grant needs to read your Uncle Ted pieces. Sadly, I had to remove the stories that are in the Story Chat Volume II book, but he can get it on Amazon. I loved the next two pieces I just read. 🙂 xxx
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Oh yeah, and for some reason your comment reminded me that it is usually a goof idea to offer support site links and info when certain topics come up….
so here is one that might be of a help to someone is this thread….
https://www.mygriefangels.org/
My Grief Angels: An online grief support community that leverages new technologies to help people cope with loss. It’s a non-profit organization that provides support for free – just FYI
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Good to know, Yvette. That is a topic that might come up.
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Thank you for the kind words, Darlene. I enjoy many genres, especially a blend of thriller, mystery, science fiction, and a touch of romance. Enjoy the day!
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Over the past couple of years I’ve often wondered if I’d want to know how long I (and others close to me) had to live. Would my daughter have been able to reconcile and stop chasing possible cures? Would my husband have started smoking again (he missed it so much) and enjoy as many Chelsea buns as he wanted in his last months? It would have been so much kinder if – with no warning – he’d just not woken up one morning, as happened to his father. (He said his mum was annoyed that his dad hadn’t said goodbye.)
If I knew the hour, would I stop caring about having enough savings to see me out and just enjoy spending it?
It’s all very well when the number above your head is in double figures, but how would it effect you when it’s down to a fraction?
Thought provoking.
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You raise many questions, Cathy, the kind that keep us wondering until we’re called home. My wife and I served as caregivers in the last six months of my dad’s life. Because we had some understanding of the approximate days left, we strived to make each count, and in that short time, I learned more about my father than in all the decades before. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts!
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Grant, that is lovely. What were some of the top things you did during that time to learn so much and make the time so memorable? I was not very good at the end stages. My husband went on hospice two nights before he died. Neither of us were ready for what came next even though my mother had come to help us and I had come home early from teaching and taken the day off when the hospice nurse came to do the exam. It was a very scary time in my life.
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Thanks for asking, Marsha. From the first day of Dad moving in with us, each evening we had a sit-down dinner. I’m usually the one to clear the dishes, but my wife, Dana, insisted she take over while I chatted with my father.
Dad had regrets, and like peeling an onion, we worked through and resolved many. Days turned into weeks, and like falling leaves expose the trunk and branches of a tree, I caught glimpses of my dad’s life laid bare. By the time we arrived at his last month, I met my real father.
I appreciate you sharing your experiences, and as you noted, we may think we know the end to the story, but along the way, scary things happen. However, there were moments that surprised and delighted me. For example, before dawn the day before my dad fell into a coma, I heard a noise in the kitchen. My father sat at the breakfast table, clanking his spoon in the bowl while enjoying his favorite cereal. Right now, thinking about that moment plants a smile on my face, for we had a wonderful chat, but it was our last.
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Those are treasured moments. I loved the last few years with my mother as well. The weaker she got, the more precious her smile and the closer we got.
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Wow, Cathy, having had several close brushes with death and being a bit of a worry wart, I am probably better not knowing. In this case, where there was an opportunity to save the little girl, it was probably a good thing. I saw a movie once about people having numbers that displayed their life score. I think it had to do with bank accounts or employability. It’s hard to remember, but it was definitely a detriment for some people. I’ve seen commercials like that too – credit scores. I’m sure you have them in the UK as well.
As to your daughter, would you have wanted her to reconcile and stop chasing possible cures. Maybe if she were my age, but at a young age, I think I would want her to do whatever she could. Mom my got cancer at age 60. At first they thought she had three months to live, then the mass around her pancreas disappeared. She still had kidney cancer. The oncologist asked if we wanted her to remove the diseased kidney with the possible result that the second kidney, which was deformed would not kick in. I thought he was nuts. We called him Dr. Gloom. To me, at the time, it was a no brainer that we wanted to take the chance that her other kidney would work even if it meant dialysis if it didn’t. I didn’t know that few people lived longer than five or six years on dialysis. She might have lived 10 years with a cancerous kidney, but she lived 20 years without it, including eight years on dialysis. We took the chance, not realizing it was a big chance. I’m so glad we did.
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Wow! I don’t usually like science fiction/fantasy but this was awesome! So well written and believable. I also enjoyed Grant’s bio.
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Hi Darlene, I’m not a big sci-fi fan either, but I agree, this was well done. My husband watches a lot of sci-fi. I enjoy it sometimes. When I don’t, he watches it alone. I’m glad you enjoyed Grant’s story. It gives us a lot to talk about – knowing the proximity we are to death. It could definitely bring out the pessimist and optimist in people.
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Your house sounds like our house. My hubby can talk along with Star Trek as he has watched every episode many times (all versions)!
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I chuckled, Darlene, when I saw your message to Marsha. There are some sci-fi shows my wife and I watch together (e.g., The Day the Earth Stood Still), but the rest of the time, I go it alone or don’t watch. (I plan on staying married another half century 😊) We agree on the character centered shows with plots that surface realistic emotions. And we love it when sci-fi doesn’t take itself too seriously, interjecting humor when appropriate.
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I agree. I suppose that’s why Star Trek has stood the test of time, although the humour in the early shows is a bit lame (or maybe just dated). I must admit I did fall for Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
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hahaha! With a name like that, who wouldn’t?
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