Story Chat is more than a writing challenge. It is a unique and proven online program encouraging interaction between authors and readers. It’s part writers group, part beta readers, and part fun fiction and pure enjoyment.
SUMMARIES will publish on Fridays a little over a week from the date the story or poem is published. As always, one, or a compilation, of your comments will appear with a link to one of the latest posts on your website.
What on earth were they going to do, stuck in the middle of nowhere? Well, not nowhere exactly – outside a village hall to be precise. With the sun setting, it was becoming colder by the minute. The car never arrived. It should have been here ten minutes ago. Samantha checked the time on her phone. Uncle Alan should have picked them up in his taxi. She had tried phoning him but it went straight to voice mail.
Samantha turned to her younger brother and said,
“It’s no good Rod we will have to walk, at least it isn’t raining.”
At that point a large rain drop landed on her head, where had that black cloud come from?
Rod spoke,
“Can’t we phone mum and ask her to pick us up?”
“No, she’s at work and can’t leave the hospital, not until the end of her shift, I’ll phone granny and tell her we will be late for tea.”
They started walking to their grandmother’s house it was about two miles, along country lanes. Granny was cross when Samantha called her.
“I’ll have something to say to your Uncle Alan when I see him, be careful both of you, have you got a torch Sam?”
“Only the one on my phone.”
“If you see a car coming towards you put it on and shine it at your face.”
“Okay, Gran.”
Not too far away they heard the sound of tyres skidding and a loud bang. All their friends had lifts, they thought they had too, by the time they realised Uncle Alan wasn’t going to come, everyone had gone home. It had been a rehearsal for a school drama club production of the musical, Oliver, based on Charles Dickens’ book, Olive Twist, which had kept them late. Uncle Alan had picked them up from the school gates and dropped them off earlier. Rod was going to play Oliver Twist and Samantha, Nancy, Bill Sykes’ girlfriend; the school’s large games master was playing the Workhouse Beadle, dismissing Oliver’s request for more gruel.
It was early in November, with the shortening of the days and early darker evenings brought forward by clocks going back one hour at the end of British Summertime. The children pulled their coats around themselves and hats down against the cold as they started to walk to granny’s. Samantha was a little concerned that she hadn’t been able to speak to Uncle Alan, it was about a two mile walk to granny’s, it really was turning very cold. Fortunately, they both knew the way to granny’s although the dark narrow roads bounded by high hedges were a little worrying for the children.
Discovering Uncle Alan’s car nose down in the ditch as they rounded a bend was a shock but even more disturbing were the two masked men trying to pull the front passenger door open its window had been broken. There was a dark blue or black car parked nearby with its engine running, its headlights shining on Uncle Alan’s car. Samantha told Rod to hide in the hedge on the other side of the road well clear of the verge then she crept along in the dry ditch on the same side of the road. She switched the camera on her phone took a photo of the scene and sent a ‘WhatsApp’ message to gran, telling her to phone the police and gave her gran ‘A What Three Words’ location from the app on her phone. Uncle Alan’s care car door must have been wedged when it went off the road the assailants couldn’t budge it or get to Uncle Alan who was slumped over the steering wheel his face down in the now deflated airbag.
Samantha didn’t know what to do, and then she remembered her uncle showing her how to let a car tyre down by pushing the pin in the top of its valve. Her shoulder bag had a biro in it she crept around the back of the assailants car took a quick photo of the registration number and WhatsApped it to Gran. In a few seconds she had unscrewed the valve’s dust cap and was pushing the tip of the valve with the point of her biro releasing the air in the tyre. With the noise of the engine and their preoccupation with trying to get to Uncle Alan the assailants hadn’t heard the tyre being deflated. It was when Samantha was letting the car’s other back tyre down that one of the men spotted her unsure whether to go after Samantha or continue trying to get to her uncle he hesitated, At that point the approaching sirens and flashing blue lights lighting the skies decided the attackers course of action they ran for their car, quickly climbed in and set off.
The two flat rear tyres made the car uncontrollable and it was immediately swerving towards the point where Rod was hiding with a sickening crunch it was off the road and into the hedge. Samantha screamed and shouted, Rod’s name, as she raced towards the car. Ignoring the car with its racing engine and its two unmoving occupants she flew round to the front of the car, searching disparately, for what she feared was left of her brother. There was no sign of him either in the light of the car’s one remaining headlight or the torch on her phone. By this time the tears were coursing down her face as she stumbled around, then she felt a tap on her shoulder,
“It’s me Sam, I’m here. I’m okay, I followed you and was keeping watch while you let the tyres down on their car I was about to shout look out when they heard the police cars and tried to get away.”
Samatha grabbed her brother hugging him tightly as the tears continued to flow. A kindly policewoman appeared and asked Samantha what had happened, Samantha sniffed back her tears then wanted to check on Uncle Alan. The policewomen held their hands and led them over to his car he was being helped into the back of the ambulance in a wheelchair he turned to the children and said,
“I’m sorry I’m late you two, your granny will kill me.”
The policewoman, Uncle Alan and the children laughed.
A few weeks later the two assailants appeared in court, the number plates on Uncle Alan’s car had been cloned by a rival gang, the two criminals who forced him off the road thought he was a member of the rival gang. Eventually the case went to the Crown Court with the two men charged with attempted murder.
As for Rod, he couldn’t persuade the Beadle to give him more gruel, but “You’ve got to pick a pocket or two,” went down really well with Uncle Alan perched shakily on his crutches leading the calls for an encore.
***
Biography
Now retired, Philip has been living and working in the Cambridgeshire Fens for most of his life. Blacksmithing and wrought ironwork started as a hobby and became his profession. He has been involved in engineering in various forms all his working life.
Making things for the garden is not only an outlet for his artistic creativity, but he feels that it also helps others, garden designers, and gardeners realise theirs. He is conscious that what he creates, although satisfying to him itself, will only be complete as an object when it is in place within its final setting.
Since retiring, Philip has joined his local University of the Third Age branch (U3A). One of the groups he belongs to is Whittlesey Wordsmiths, a creative writing group. Together as a group, they have published two anthologies of their work, Where the Wild Winds Blow, A Following Wind, Three Sheets to the Wind, Windy Christmas, Jingle Bells and Tinsel Tales, and a murder and ghost story collection: Dead End Tales.
With the help and encouragement of the group, Philip has completed his first novel, Killing Time in Cambridge, and together with George Holmes, a distant relative, a collection of their short stories Strange Times and Other Stories.
Philip blogs at fenlandphil.com
Something to Think About
Of course, you don’t have to answer all or any of these questions in your comment, but they add depth to our discussions, if you choose to use them.
- What emotions do you think the author wanted you to feel?
- What theme or themes did “A Slight Delay” have? A list of 25 themes.
- What would you say to Samantha when you saw her if you were Gran?
- Are there any lingering questions you have?
- How did the story impact you? How long do you think you will you remember it? Some of these stories have stuck with me for years!
Attendance
- Monica
- Hugh’s Views and News adding a Blue Sky button
- Doug Jacquier March edition of the journal
- Unique Times with Cindy – “feeding lies of fairy dust” to her grandchild
- Keep It Alive write to the theme homecoming
- No Facilities – Thursday Doors March 20, 2025
- Tame Your Book use a structure chart
- Fenland Phil’s Blog (author) a book review of A Storm in a Teacup
YouTube Trailers for Volumes I and II
Story Chat Volume II Book Blog Tour Schedule
- Colleen Chesebro – November 24, 2024 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Gloria – November 29 (UK)
- Robbie & Michael – November 30 (SA)
- Diana – December 1 (US)
- Doug – December 2 (AU) December 1 (US, UK, SA) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Cathy – December 4 (UK) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Amanda – December 9 (AU) December 8 (US, UK, SA)
- Dan– December 11 (US)
- Philip – December 14 (UK)
- Cindy Georgekas – December 16 (US)
- Esther Chilton – January 30 (UK ) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- D. L. Finn – February 4 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Yvette – February 5 (US) Thanks for reviewing on Amazon.
- Hugh – January 27 (UK)
Story Chat: Online Literary Conversations
Our video from Volume I is still up and getting views. My goal was 100 views, and we’re over that now! Yay!
Marsha Ingrao Always Write 
76 responses to “Story Chat Digest: “A Slight Delay” by Philip Cumberland”
I’m sorry, everyone, that it has taken me longer than I intended to read and reply to your great responses to ‘A Slight Delay.’ Thank you, everyone, who took not only the time to read the story but also to comment on it. I appreciate it.
And thank you, Marsha, for posting it on your blog.
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Sometimes life gets in the way of blogging, Phil. It happens to all of us. Thanks for coming back to answer all these lovely comments. 🙂 xxx
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Nippy little twists and turns, keeping the tension. It was a very engaging read. Phil set the premise, the world, the looming pretense that it’s gonna be a thriller of a walk home, and he did not disappoint. It’s difficult to pack so much into a short story, but he pulled it off masterfully. Samantha is a gritty protagonist, and I enjoyed tagging along for her wold walk to grandma’s.
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Philip is a fan and master of thrillers, Nigel. I have enjoyed all his stories. 🙂
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When I meet new storytellers, I get so excited. So I’ll be following Phil. Thanks for showcasing him.
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Thanks, Nigel. He writes great reviews, too. 🙂
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You’re welcome ☺️
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Thank you, Nigel and Marsha, for your kind words. I’m pleased you enjoyed the story, Nigel.
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You are deserving, Phil.
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You’re welcome
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Yes, you are welcome, Phil. 🙂
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A great story teller, that Phill! 🙌🏽
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Thank you, Cindy.
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This is a good story. The concern the main character had for her little brother was clearly displayed. I like that the girl was resourceful and brave. The missing punctuation caused some confusion at times, but a good edit would fix that.
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Thanks, Darlene. Good editing is important. I do a rough edit of each story, but if Grammarly doesn’t catch it, I usually don’t either. If I notice a lot of errors, I send it back to the author, but I haven’t had to do that often.
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It’s hard to catch everything. Commas in particular can be tricky. I can edit other’s work but tend to be too close to my own to see the mistakes. My critique partners are great at putting me straight.
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I need more critique partners!
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Critique partners are very handy.
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Amen to that! 🙂
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I’m glad you enjoyed the story, Darlene. I do my best with the editing and use Grammarly but sometimes things get missed. Cathy Cade, one of my fellow Whittlesey Wordsmiths, is a great editor; she usually edits our story collections and does a brilliant job.
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Without another set of eyes, my writing would be riddled with errors. I read my early work and shudder.
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Amen to that, Darlene. My old blog posts are clear evidence of that.
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Editing is the writer’s nightmare, I think, Phil. I’m working on a book of poems and narrative that is sort of a memoir. Four blogging experts have been involved so far in the editing process. I hope to have it out by at least June. You might find an error in it still. Colleen found one yesterday – after all that and Grammarly, too. Chin up! 🙂 xxx
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I look forward to reading it. Marsha.
However, once you type, ‘The End’, it is nothing of the sort, it’s just the beginning of the editing. I’m working on two anthologies with two different writing groups at the moment, which is proving interesting. We are well on the way with the Whittlesey Wordsmith’s collection, which I seem to have landed myself with organising. The book is being dedicated to a much-loved member of the group who sadly died last year from cancer. She was a lovely lady who paid me a compliment I will always cherish: after reading one of my stories, “I laughed so much I nearly wet myself.” Luckily, it was meant to be a humorous story.
The other writing group is in the main younger than me, and there is a lot further to go with that collection.
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You certainly are busy! Well done!
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Hi Marsha, I thought this was a lovely story. I enjoyed the smart and brave children, the humour, and the engaging storyline. The Oliver Twist references made me smile 💗
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I’m glad you liked it. It was cute.😊
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I thought so too.
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Thanks for commenting, Roberta. I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
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🩷
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Fun…
>
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I thought so! 🙂 xxx
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Sorry, Phil, this story’s not my cup of tea. To each his own.
However, I will say I find it much harder to engage with a story that seems to have been written hurriedly, without spelling and grammar checking and without tight self-editing. For example, a spellchecker will not pick up words that are spelled correctly but are wrong in the context e.g. disparately/desperately, Olive/Oliver etc
Hope that helps in future.
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I take credit for errors not found in the manuscript before publication. I didn’t see anything that raised a red flag. Lesson learned by me – hire an editor before publication. As a side note my editor just finished with my new book, which has been written over a period of years. I have a masters degree in education, taught for 25 years with a focus on English language development. I wrote as part of my job requirements. Bottom line, my editor and beta readers made tons of suggestions and found inconsistencies and errors. I found some that she even missed. Writing is hard work. Editing is harder!
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I agree about editing, Marsha. After I had written Killing Time in Cambridge, I had three of my fellow wordsmiths doing the editing, one chapter at a time; sometimes all three would find different errors. Having said that I am an Advanced Reader for a publisher and find errors in their professionally edited and proofread books. I also remember reading the Red House Mystery, by A. A. Milne (of Winnie the Pooh fame), a few years ago and reviewing it on my blog, this was the last sentence on the post,
“On a side note in a book that is nearly a hundred years old and reissued, it should have been possible for someone competent to proofread it and remove the typos.”
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LOL! I didn’t know you were so involved with so many things, Phil. How fun and interesting. 🙂
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Great story Phil from start to finish… gripping story telling. and I must say relatable at times hearing those tires crunch on the side of the road. Love the tie ins to the present that are truly close for comfort. 🙌🏽
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Great comment, Cindy! I think anyone with kids can relate to this story. 🙂
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Totally true, Marsha! 💓
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Thank you, Cindy, I’m pleased you liked it and kind enough to comment.
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My, this story has lots of stuff in it that is relevant to today’s world—cloning car registration plates, mobile phones, and using a biro-pen to let the air out of a car’s back tyre.
Grannie sounds like a force of nature – I would not want to be on the bad end of her. It sounds like she rules the family.
I love the way Philip set the scene: a dark, cold evening, children left all alone, dark roads, little light, and a two-mile walk to safety. Gripping stuff.
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I like the word gripping, Hugh. Gripping story – two children walking on a dark road. The summary just wrote itself again. You and Sadje are making my life easy, but my choices hard! Which summary to chose!
I agree with you about Grannie. I was almost as impressed with her as with Sam. I was glad of the outcome. I don’t know about you, but bad things happening to good kids is gripping, but having the bad thing win is hard for me to swallow – even though it does happen way too often.
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I’m not a big fan of happy endings, Marsha (as you probably already know, given the types of stories I write). However, I have nothing against the occasional happy ending, although I prefer stories with a twisty ending where the villains sometimes come out on top.
Philip’s story also reminded me of some tales I read as a child by Enid Blyton. I devoured the entire Secret Seven series, where younger characters solved mysteries. I’m not sure if crime writing involving children is a genre Philip has explored, but there are indications in his story that he could certainly give it a try.
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I agree, Hugh. Phil may have untapped a secret talent. I loved those same kinds of books when I was a kid. My favorite series was Trixie Beldon. I don’t remember the author. I don’t mind if the villain comes out on top as long as he or she exhibits some endearing qualities and a good reason for being a villain in the first place. I’m thinking of Dan Antion’s books as a perfect example of that type of person. The heroes are not goodie two shoes, but they have some endearing qualities – even if circumstances have to drag them out. His story for Story Chat was a perfect example of that.
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Thank you, Hugh. I have only written three children’s stories from memory, given your kind words and those of Marsha’s, I will have to give it serious consideration.
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I think this book could definitely be the start of a youth book 12-18. Your characters are all strong and likable and would appeal to a young audience.
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A cautionary tale of today’s culture, and yet the ending serves up the justice we desire. Kudos, Philip, and thank you for your delightful storytelling!
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Sadly, there have been bad guys in each era, as Phil pointed out about the use of technology.
When I think back to my childhood without phones to communicate, and how many times I started walking home at an unsafe time and over an unsafe distance. Whew! I know God protected me, but there were still bad guys out to do harm – an no cell phones to protect us!
I think your word delightful, sums up the story well, Grant. 🙂
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Thank you, Grant. It’s a great compliment.
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A very interesting tale. There are all the elements of a suspenseful story here. The approaching night, 2 children alone and walking home to granny’s house. Love the resourcefulness of Sam. Awesome story
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Wow, you almost wrote my 9-word summary. Thanks, Sadje!
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Thank you so much Marsha. 💝😍
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I was going to say wow too, well I’ve said it now, thank you, Sadje. I appreciate your comment.
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🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Bravo Samantha, much better using her phone in several ways than I would have been. This is a modern story with technology used for good and bad.
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Well said, Janet. I think it might be harder to write a story set in a different era even if we lived through it. Sometimes it’s hard to even think what it was like to do without the daily conveniences we take for granted. 🙂 Thanks for the comment.
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Thank you for commenting.
Nearly all technology, new or old can be used for good or evil, in that respect nothing changes.
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That is so true, Phil.
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Thank you, Cathy.
I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
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This is a delightful little story. An adventure that shouldn’t be falling from a dreadful case of mistaken identity and the ability of a child to summon strength and wisdom beyond her years. I love it!
I’m not sure about the Philip’s intentions, but I was consumed with fear, a touch of anger and a whopping “you go girl” bit of cheer when the assailants cruised off the road.
I think Gran is caught in that classic, “I want to be angry with everyone, but I can’t be” trap. Realizing that, I think I’d fall back on “I’m so proud of you.” Then, days later, I’d offer the lecture about sizing up a situation before following your instincts, just in case you’re overlooking some danger.
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Thank you for your kind comments, Dan I’m pleased you enjoyed it.
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The good news is that Philip had the danger well under control.
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Yes, but he teased us with it very well.
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Yes, he did! We all like to be on the edge of our seats for a short time. Honestly, I don’t enjoy that through an entire book or movie. I need a breather from suspension from time to time. I think Phil managed that well. Typical for Americans, I enjoy a positive outcome at the end, and Philip delivered on that.
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Brilliant storytelling, Phil. You had me engaged the whole way. That’s always our worst fear isn’t it, that something horrible happened to someone who is late or fails to show. Thank you so much.
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I’m pleased you enjoyed it Violet and thank you for commenting.
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That is a concern. I’m even that way with my husband, if he doesn’t call me, I worry.
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I enjoyed the way Philip built the story up and how the conflict and tension really rose in the second half of the story. We’re rooting for Samantha to foil the plan and she does. A plucky girl. The police seem to arrive a bit too quickly, stretching reality, but then you can do that in a short story, and I like the uplifting ending. A very enjoyable read.
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Stories suspend reality!
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They do!
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Thank you, Esther.
The adjustment of reality is probably the most enduring feature of fiction.
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It is. The reader would also get fed up if they had the wait the real length of time it took for the police to arrive!
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haha, good point. 🙂 xxx
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I think so, Phil! 🙂
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resourceful girl.
A gripping read with an extra touch of tension just when we thought all was safe. And nicely tied up at the end with a reference returning us to the beginning.
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This is one of my favorites of Phil’s. I like a strong woman.
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