Natalie’s Weekend Coffee Share

Good early morning this Saturday, March 4th.

My computer lights up the bedroom/my new office, but thankfully Vince’s rhymic breathing tells me he’s able to keep sleep.

Best Mind-Numbing Activities to Combat Sadness

Write: If you read my post on Wednesday, you know how therapeutic blogging is. News flash: it’s really not the coffee, so if you are reading this hoping I have some research about the medicinal value of coffee, you’d better stop reading right now.

Work Puzzles: It’s challenging but numbing at the same time. Digital puzzles are great. The pieces don’t fall off the table, and you can’t spill your coffee on them.

Walking: This usually is very therapeutic but it’s not working for me this week. It’s also not recommended with coffee. I’m off my 10,000 steps by two days. Walking is difficult, not because of my legs – they’re great. If I pet someone else’s dog, I tear up. I walked at the mall with our neighbor who hates dogs and I didn’t cry once – not even tempted.

Shopping: My brain isn’t working right. I forgot that I had washed my only remaining walking shoes, so my walking partner and I had to shop for shoes before I could even walk. I forgot my credit card. Fortunately, I had my phone. You can charge anything if you have your phone, but so can anyone else who might happen to have your phone. Don’t do this with coffee either.

Dining with Friends: Last night our realtors took us out for dinner to celebrate the closing of our house. YAY! Before dinner, we met another friend of theirs outside the Clubhouse who had the same experience as our dogs who had both died suddenly of seizures after minor medical procedures. Diane and I were already on a death roll before we even sat down. My husband tried unsuccessfully several times to get us to stop talking about the treasured animals we felt had died too young.

Randall laughed, “You can’t stop a woman from talking about death or wedding dresses. So temporarily we switched the topic to wedding dresses because their youngest daughter is getting married next January.

Coffee is better with breakfast than dinner.

Be Alone: To be honest, it has not been a great week for visiting anyone so I’ve enjoyed my alone time looking through old photos and turning them into puzzles. Last week Anne Christine hosted the Lens-Artist Photo Challenge, “Alone Time.” How handy! I’d better get this posted before the new challenge posts!

Driving: Driving alone or with your best friend through a wooded area is one of my favorite calming activities. Pictures of former drives through nature are soothing and can be enjoyed with coffee but they often make a poor puzzle.

Alone Time

I found these pictures from a trip we took alone with Puppy Girl long before we had other pets.

She knew a walk was coming and would have retold the story about the giant bear we saw. She would tell you she was fearless!

PPAC Bridge Memories

California has been having some unusual weather this week. Our 13.5 inches of snow seems mild to what they are experiencing. However, this is not the first time California has had devastating precipitation. I came across this bear which compelled me to take its picture ten years ago during our Accidental Vacation.

He stands at the entrance of a bridge compelling people to brave his fierceness and cross the Klamath River.

However, the road is blocked off and they don’t want cars to park on the weakened bridge as a scenic lookout either.

So we parked and walked up to the marker and I took this very poor photo of the compelling scene. Vince was afraid that Puppy Girl would jump off the bridge so he walked away from the bears. He’s always been a bit overprotective – a very sweet quality if a little unrealistic sometimes. Like her human mama, Puppy Girl was a cuddler, not an adventurer.

River on the Rampage During Christmas week in 1964, this area was hit with the heaviest rain ever recorded in the region. Torrential storms dumped as much as 24 inches of warm rain over the mountains, melting the snowpack. Swollen creeks and rives raged through canyons and valleys toward the sea. Logs and debris swept away roads, livestock, and structures including the town of Klamath and the Douglas Memorial Bridge, which had stood here for nearly 40 years. In the aftermath, local families with strong ancestral connections to the river and the local fishery rebuilt the townsite upstream on higher ground.”

Reading

Reading hasn’t been my number one activity this week. For the Dicken’s Challenge, I’ve finished The Battle of Life, and The Haunted Man, and started The Chimes. The words went in but didn’t make a bit of sense – not relaxing. Instead, I’ve been going through file folders and shredding real estate transactions older than 7 years. Now that activity is mind-numbing.

I hope you have a more stimulating week unless you need the calm. Then I recommend all these healing activities. I feel better just telling you about my week. 🙂

Upcoming and Ongoing on Always Write


69 responses to “Coffee with Seven Mind-Numbing Activities Overcomes Grief”

  1. robertawrites235681907 Avatar

    Hi Marsha, I am very sorry for your loss, I read you post about Puppy Girl on FB. I am glad you have some strategies to take your mind off everything. I hope you have a good weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wind Kisses Avatar

    I am always comforted by people who know how to recognize their sadness and go through th emotions to find “something” to at least distract them for a bit. The sadness doesn’t go away. It does occupy the mind. You have a great list to draw from and quite honestly sometimes reflection is all the matters.

    Death or wedding dresses…made me laugh. Sounds like your dinner was good for the soul.

    Like

    1. Marsha Avatar

      It was. They are such fun and wonderful people. I have gotten to the point that I don’t sob at the drop of a hat but we’ve been crazy busy and had lots of social contacts. I’ll never stop thinking about her, though.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wind Kisses Avatar

        You are not supposed to. 🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Julie Avatar

    I find it so weird that you can use your phone to charge things like a card. I think I am good sticking with Venmo or PayPal. Writing is a good way to combat sadness — and stress I should add too. It’s just good to get it out there. Pets are part of the family, I talk about them non-stop to people even when I am on vacation. They’re always on my mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Hi Julie, I hope you are doing well. I will visit your blog soon. We have moved and now we are starting the remodeling process as well as moving Vince’s sister to her own place. Busy time.

      I thought it was weird that I could charge my phone without using any identification. So if I lost my phone and they somehow guessed my password, they could charge anything until I locked my credit card. Of course, being a thinking woman, I hope I would have thought to do that as soon as I lost my phone. 🙂 Pets are another way to relieve stress – or get it if they are sick. It is like having a sick child – you can tell they are sick, but you can’t help them. Even vets are only guessing. Bloodwork gave them no idea that anything was wrong with either of the two pets we lost this winter. Thanks for your comment. Talk to you soon! 🙂

      Like

  4. Gary A Wilson Avatar

    Hi Marsha,
    I know that virtual hugs don’t work as well as real ones, but I’m sending you one anyway – Big .
    Our pups never live long enough and oddly, even though I reminded myself several times as I grew up with my Pam, when we finally lost her, it was heartbreaking. I get it! The love and memories we shared were all worth it – but there is no avoiding the pain of losing them.

    But – you sold your house? Does that mean you’re moving somewhere – I guess that’s a given, but did I miss details? I’ve had a busy couple of weeks and one of our kids was back in town with our DIL and that derailed almost everything else for several days.

    Hope this finds you happy, healthy and loving life.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Hi Gary, thanks for the hugs. We were blindsided by Puppy Girl’s death. She was fine, then she wasn’t. So I’ve taken it so hard. I have to keep busy to keep sane!

      House-wise, when we moved from CA to AZ, we brought Vince’s sister who has never married. We sold her condo in CA and transferred the earnings to a condo here. She lived in it for two years, then we moved into it and sold the condo here that we bought for ourselves. She has now found low income housing to live on her own for the first time in her life (nearly 71 years). She will be moving some time after March 10th, and we are already moved in here. We still have plenty of extra furniture if you need some! 🙂

      Like

  5. Cindy Georgakas Avatar

    Awww it takes time and I’m glad you are taking the needed time to grieve your lose. Beautiful pics with great ideas. 🧩 and walking 🚶‍♂️ are great remedies!
    Take good care!💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you, my friend. We are doing a little better each day. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cindy Georgakas Avatar

        You’re so welcome Marsha…. I’m glad to hear that! xoxooxo 💗

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Denzil Avatar

    Hi Marsha, long time no “see”! Just thought I’d drop a line to say Hi, it was quite a few years back since we were in contact. I now have a new blog. Hope you’re doing well, glad to see you are as busy writing as ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Hi Denzil, I’m so glad you reached out. I read your comments on Carol’s blog, but it’s not the same as visiting. I’ll check out your new blog. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂 We are doing well, thanks – busy, as you noticed and happy to be so. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Denzil Avatar

        All that is good to hear!

        Liked by 2 people

  7. Debbie Avatar

    Thinking of you Marsha and hoping you are OK, or as OK as you can be at least.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you, my sweet friend. I am okay. My husband took me for a long drive yesterday and we stopped and looked at new houses to see how they were appointed. That got my mind off of my sadness. I just need to keep busy. I’m sure you know what that’s like!!! 🙂 Lots of love and hugs, Deb. 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Janet Alcorn Avatar

    I hope the pain of your loss eases. In the meantime, it sounds like you’re finding ways to take care of yourself, which is good.

    Love the bridge pics. That part of the country is so lovely.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thanks, Janet, Northern CA is amazing. All of CA is, really, as is AZ, OR, and WA. I do love the West.

      Like

  9. Toonsarah Avatar

    I’m so sorry about Puppy Girl, I know how much you loved her. Sending hugs 🤗🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thanks, Sarah. I did love her for a fact. 🙂 Are you home and processing your vacation now?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Toonsarah Avatar

        Yes, we’ve been home a couple of weeks now. I’ve been busy sorting and editing photos 🙂 Did you get my messages about removing my editor rights here?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Marsha Avatar

          Yes, it should be removed. Let me know if it still a problem.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Toonsarah Avatar

            All sorted, thank you 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Marsha Avatar

            Awesome, sorry for the inconvenience, Sarah! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  10. Sadje Avatar

    I’m so sorry for your loss Marsha. I hope that with time the intensity of your pain lessens. Lots of hugs. A beautiful post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Time is a great healer. So are friends. Thank you for being one of the great ones, Sadje. 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje Avatar

        Take care. You’re right that with time we learn to manage our feelings better and of course friends and family helps us.

        Like

        1. Marsha Avatar

          Thanks, Sadje. You have a great week. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Sadje Avatar

            Thanks 🙏🏼

            Liked by 1 person

  11. the eternal traveller Avatar

    Some happy memories in these photos 🩵

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Yes, there are! 🙂

      Like

  12. Natalie Avatar

    Marsha, I’m sorry for your loss. I hope the healing activities have helped you a little bit each day. Thank you for your weekend coffee share and PPAC contribution even though you’re feeling sad. The bears at the bridge entrance are unusual. I read stories that they were painted gold and repainted to their original colour.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marsha Avatar

      I took the pictures in 2013, and they weren’t gold then. That’s wonderful if they did. CA is the bear state – not that you see many of them roaming around, but they are there. I was walking in Sequoia National Park with a bear and her cub walking the other direction on the opposite side of the street. That’s the closes I’ve ever been to a bear except in a zoo. 🙂

      Like

  13. Miss Andi Avatar

    Sorry for your loss! I think it’s good that you took the effort to consciously numb your feelings by these different activities, we can’t always be strong enough to fully live through the pain of grief. I lost our family cat 5 years ago but realised just this week in a post (talk about therapeutic) that I still can’t allow myself to think about her… sending you hugs in this difficult time!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you, Miss Andi. I am so sorry for your loss.

      Like

  14. Dan Antion Avatar

    Walking is the hardest for me because I walked every day with our dog. Still, if I don’t walk, I’m afraid I’ll end up having trouble walking.

    I have joined the Dickens challenge, and I am trying to read three (I decided before you guys changed it to one).

    I hope you have a nice weekend and week ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      That’s me, too, Dan. I’m trying to keep up with my 10,000 steps a day, though. I’m excited that you are doing the Dickens Challenge. I’m still working on #3, but I have some posts to write about #1 and #2. 🙂 Thanks for your comment. Have a great weekend and week yourself. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Terri Webster Schrandt Avatar

    I think it is hard to be alone when grieving our pets, Marsha. It becomes an endless loop of memories, tears, and “woulda-coulda-shoulda” moments. We move on slowly, with coffee and good friends, and remain thankful we had our fur babies in our lives. Time does heal, but for now just abide in the feelings, my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      I do a little better each day. But my eyes are blurry from being constantly teary! When does this end, my friend?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Terri Webster Schrandt Avatar

        Aww… it doesn’t really end….it will be a while. ❤

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Marsha Avatar

          xxx Lots of hugs to both of us. See you soon! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  16. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

    I play bridge or solitaire with the computer. It is SO mind numbering I actually fall asleep, computer still in lap. And it’s snowing. It was raining, now it’s snowing. Soon it will be raining. Again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      OK, that sounds like me, Marilyn. I fall asleep doing my puzzles sometimes, or playing other games. I haven’t played anything as challenging as bridge. My mom was a great bridge player and once she couldn’t play because of her neck getting so weak, she was ready to go. Bridge was to mom like water is to most people. 🙂

      Like

      1. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

        People get REALLY addicted to bridge. Omar Sharif gave up acting and went full time into tournament play. I never was quite that bad and when I couldn’t play, I was sorry, but I didn’t die of it.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Marsha Avatar

          I’m glad you didn’t die, Marilyn. I was so sad that my mom did, but she lived a long life and had been on dialysis for 8 years and was tired.

          Like

          1. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

            Bridge can keep you functioning when medication fails. It is absorbing and highly competitive, so it also helps you stay focused. It’s recommended for older people for exactly those reasons. Bridge kept my father going for the final 10 years of his life as his heart gradually failed.

            Like

          2. Marsha Avatar

            That was my mother’s problem, too, but she and her parents both played all their lives. It was the heart of both of their social connections. 🙂

            Like

          3. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

            We played ALL the time in Israel. My mother commented that there had been a time when she played bridge all the time too. But it is a real time eater. If you play, you usually play often and in more than one place. I don’t have time for that — and Garry doesn’t play cards at all. Playing with the computer makes me feel VERY smart. I don’t think I’ve lost a set yet. I don’t think I’m quite THAT good.

            Liked by 1 person

          4. Marsha Avatar

            I know I’m not! One of Mom’s friends asked me NOT to play with them again. My poor mom wanted me to learn so badly so I could be part of her social circle, but it wasn’t my game. 🙂

            Like

          5. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

            It’s very aggressive. Bridge players are at war — and not everyone has that kind of aggression or wants to act on it. I don’t know how well I’d doing playing with “real” people now either. I was never a great player and now, I’m forgetful and I’m not especially pushy about anything that isn’t really important. Unless you are playing for serious money (some people make a living playing bridge — it IS a sport) I don’t need that kind of aggression in my world. It’s just not important enough — probably why I was never better than a pretty good kitchen bridge player.

            Like

          6. Marsha Avatar

            That was what Mom was, too. She never played for money that I knew about. But she studied it in the paper every day, and worked pretty hard at it. It is a sport, isn’t it?

            Like

          7. Marilyn Armstrong Avatar

            Yes AND you can do it sitting down.

            Liked by 1 person

          8. Marsha Avatar

            Very true. Mom had 5% of her heart working during the last few years of her life. That’s about all she could do! 🙂

            Like

  17. Leya Avatar

    It is hard losing a best friend – sorry for your loss, Marsha. Time will heal, but they will never be forgotten. Alone time is good, but also having something to do – writing or blogging – you have found some good ways.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thanks for the inspiration this week. Leya. 🙂

      Like

  18. Janis @ RetirementallyChallenged.com Avatar

    We all process loss in different ways and I think you have found some good healing activities.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thanks, Janis!

      Like

  19. ben Alexander Avatar

    I’m sorry for your loss, Marsha – that’s so hard…

    Much love to all you guys…


    David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you so much, David. I need to learn to pour my heart into poetry. I love that Cindy can do that.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. beth Avatar

    all great choices, and they really work. I’m so sorry for your loss

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you, Beth. We have all experienced heartbreak and loss. I hope some of these activities work for others as well.

      Like

  21. restlessjo Avatar

    I just bet he was fearless, especially if it came to protecting you. Keep busy, Marsha! I know you always do.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Hi Jo, Dogs have a way of being fearless protectors of their masters and mistresses, don’t they. It seems to be part of their nature. It is part of ours to protect them as well. They are such loveable creatures. Have a good week dear Jo. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  22. babsje Avatar

    Dear Marsha, today’s post and your last one are lovely tributes to your beloved dog, actually make that “beloved family member.” I am sorry for your loss and I wish you, your husband and everyone who knew and loved to take comfort as and when you can. May their memories be many blessings.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Marsha Avatar

      Thank you for your kind words, Babsje. I think we are not in a hurry to recover from loving them.

      Liked by 2 people

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