Welcome to March Story Chat
This month we have a special guest who has done more to publicize Story Chat and attract and support “real authors,” if I may quote him, than I have.
I am super honored to introduce A. Kid and his friends Pal and Curley to my friends in the Always Write Community. His handler, D. Avery, was a little nervous about letting him loose, but here he is. Please welcome, A. Kid from the Carrot Ranch Saddle-Up Saloon.
*The followin’ is a fictionalized account of a fictional tale writ by a fictional character on a local worldwide virtual ranch.*
“Wanda-lust”
by A. Kid
“Kid, come quick. Shorty’s called a meetin’ a some sort over ta the cookhouse.”
“Meat’n what, Pal? Eggs? Better not be eggs an’ bacon. Ya know I ain’t never eatin’ bacon agin now that I have my pet puglet Curly.”
“This here’s a meetin’ a the minds, ain’t ‘bout breakfist er fillin’ yer pie-hole. Now git goin’.”
I got goin’ ‘cause Shorty’s the boss, though truth is she ain’t very bossy at all. Somethin’ was up. With my pink puglet taggin’ at my heels I followed my pal Pal ta the cookhouse.
We went in an’ set down at the plank table where Shorty was, an’ settin’ next ta her was Ernie, formerly Ornery Ernie, but he’s mellowed consider’bly lately. My frien’ Pepe LeGume an’ even his wife Loggatha was there an’ a course Aussie an’ Doc Ranger was there too, along with Tip and Top. T’day the Lemmon brothers’d left the sparkle an’ stilettos in the bunkhouse, was dressed fer ranch work.
An’ jist then Frankie burst through the door. Actchally she walked inta it, then come through it, her head turned so she could see the opening better with her one good eye. I could see her faithful hoss, Burt, drinkin’ from the water trough. But when I noticed that she’d stood up ta talk, I give Shorty my full attenshun.
“It’s good ta see so many a y’all here an’ a good thing this is all fiction,” Shorty began. “’Cause Carrot Ranch is a safe space fer real folks, but the fictional fact a this story is— Wanda’s been kidnapped.”
At that proclamation Ernie howled like a sad ol’ coyote. Ain’t gonna lie ta ya. First thought was Wanda’d done wandered away agin, ‘count a her nut-orious Wanda-lust. But some folks figgered Wanda an’ Ernie was back permanent since he give up drink an’ was workin’ on his inner calm.
“Whut makes ya think it were a kidnappin’?” Pal asked.
“She’s been gone a while, an’ nowhere’s ta go,” says Ernie. “An’ if it were her Wanda-lust she’d a left a note; she always leaves a note.”
“Really? What’s her notes say?”
“Say, ‘I’m wand’rin’ off ta pick up a nuther man.’ She kin do thet too, she’s mighty strong. Kin haul full kegs a corn liquor ‘thout no hep.”
Then ol’ Ernie howled agin, broke down ta blubberin’ what with his fond ‘membrances a his b’loved Wanda.
“All right, git yersef t’gether Ernie. I’m gonna depatize all a you characters so’s ya kin git out there an’ solve this mystery.”
When Shorty said that the cookhouse erupted in questions. Was Shorty a sheriff? Would we git badges? An’ was it okay ta say posse? The Poet Lariat ‘lowed as how if there’s been a crime it’d git solved in time. Aussie an’ Doc Ranger got inta it over the finer points a genre an’ tropes an sech, couldn’t jist leave it at “mystery”.
Finally Shorty got us all reined in. “Ernie,” she said, “Ya gotta give ever’one a description a Wanda.”
“Well, her hair’s like corn silk.”
“Jeez, Ernie. Kin ya be more ‘zact? Green corn or dry corn?”
“Fall corn, when the silk is still a bit soft but’s turned brown, too turned ta eat fresh, but still too green ta smoke.”
All the fictional ranch hands nodded their heads. They could see an’ even feel hair like that.
Ernie continued. “She wears a pale green dress, with hints a yeller. She’s purty husky but with stalky legs.”
“D’ya mean ‘stocky’?”
“Nope, stalky, thin as rails.”
Well, I’ve seen Wanda, so I kin tell ya there wuz more’n a kernel a truth ta Ernie’s discription.
Jist as we wuz all d’putized an’ ready ta head out we heard a c’motion outside, an’ more howlin’ an’ bayin’ but it weren’t Ernie. Slim Chance had arrived with some a his best hounds. I wuz gonna give ‘im what fer, tell Slim he could slither on back ta the Slim Chance Ranch, we didn’t need his hep, but you know Shorty. She said all were welcome at Carrot Ranch an’ thanked ‘im fer his willin’ness ta hep. An’ I r’flected that mebbe I was still feelin’ a fool fer takin’ a pig ‘stead a a puppy from Slim, thinkin’ it were a puglet. Well, I love that little puglet, an’ mebbe Curly could save the day an’ show up Slim’s prize houn’s.
I rousted Curly who was asleep at my feet. I was gittin’ a gut feelin’, not like what Pepe gits, more of a inner promptin’ an’ one thing I picked up on at Carrot Ranch is ta go where the prompt leads.
The others rode out, all over the ranch. Pal went ta the saloon, said he wanted ta make sure Wanda wasn’t holed up there. The Poet Lariat went ta the poets’ tree. Shorty went off ta make sure Nanjo Castille an’ Monreal Dorb weren’t behin’ these strange an’ sketchy events. Slim, in what ta me seemed a bit of a cliché, headed fer the hills behin’ his bayin’ houn’s.
When the dust settled it was jist me an’ Curly, both lookin’ thoughtful, though truth is, she was thinkin’ ‘bout breakfist. I weren’t gonna take the time an’ as I started ta tell my little pig this news, my little pig started off, hoofin’ it back ta the barn. I followed, goin’ where the pig led. Curly, her little curly tail a’waggin’, went this way an’ that, sniffin’ an’ gruntin’. Fin’ly she stopped front a the hay wagon, jist kep waggin’ that curly tail a hers. Waggin’ an’ waggin’ in front a the wagon.
Then she squealed.
But wait! It weren’t Curly! Yep, it was Wanda. Her head popped up outta the loose hay on the wagon, an’ her eyes popped like corn when she saw us. Then Curly did squeal, ‘cause truth is, Wanda smells like corn, which is why Curly tracked her down.
They say two heads is better then one an’ sure ‘nough a secon’ head come up outta the hay, but I didn’t rec’nize the wispy fella. A stranger! Then I ‘membered a spooky story, a skeery thing happened ta Pal. This was that character Pal’d come across, the one’d never been brought ta life; was unwrit, hauntin’ the ranch. Kin ya ‘magine, a poor un’magined character jist waitin’ fer a story?
Well I musta said that last sen’ence out loud, ‘cause Wanda answered.
“Oh, I ‘magined somethin’ fer ‘im ta do. Don’t know ‘bout a story, but I kin tell ya, I give ‘im somethin’ ta talk about.” But fer the moment the stranger was tongue tied, huddled there ‘neath the hay.
Curly an’ I give ‘em their privacy an’ got ourselves some breakfist. Wanda made her way home ta Ernie’s shack, told him some tale ‘bout gittin’ lost on her way ta her granma’s. I think it were all too much fer that stranger, ‘cause he ain’t been seen since.
I guess it’s a happy endin’. As Curly says, better a tale a debauchery than da butchery.
Bio
A. Kid is a free ranging fictional character who lives and works at Carrot Ranch. Since March 2020 Kid also manages, along with fictional ranch hand Pal N. O’Roun, the Saddle Up Saloon, the virtual watering hole and gathering place found just over the line. Their adventures are archived in the Ranch Yarn pages at ShiftnShake, the blog maintained by their writer, D. Avery.
What in the World Is Story Chat?
Story Chat is to short stories as Book Club is to New York Best Sellers. We come together over a cup of hot chocolate or an adult beverage, sit around the coffee table and discus the story with the author. We ask questions and challenge each other’s thinking, play with the story and enjoy each other’s company.
Two weeks later or so, the edited transcript of the chat comes out with links to some of your latest blog posts. (my favs – as the privileged hostess).
Now it’s your turn.
to the fun of Story Chat.
Marsha Ingrao - Always Write 
Reblogged this on Colleen M. Chesebro and commented:
I seemed to have missed this story from D. Avery featuring Pal and Kid, from Carrot Ranch. Marsha made the magic happen with this great feature!
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Thank you for the reblog. You didn’t miss the story, as this is its debut here at Marsha’s Story Chat. You might have missed her interview regarding Story Chat at the Saloon as you were traveling.
https://carrotranch.com/2021/01/18/saddle-up-saloon-chattin-bout-story-chat/
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Oh, great! I loved this story! So cute! 🤣❤️
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Kid and Pal have been awesome promoters. I’m thinking of hiring them as full time promoters of Always Write. 🙂
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Thanks for the reblog, Colleen. Any surprises here?
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LOL! It was pretty cute. ❤️
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OMG! Curley saved the day! And buckaroo-KU! I loved that, D. You are so gosh dern creative. And, that’s the extent of my cowboy rap! Lovely feature, Marsha. Hugs and hats off to you both! ❤
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Thanks, Colleen. Keep your hat planted on my account but all the credit goes to D’s creative guys, Kid and Pal.
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For sure! 🤣❤️
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A right fun read. Glad to be a part – even if I didn’t lasso any villain’s. ~The Poet Lariat (of CR).
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Sometimes the poet’s the witness. Only you know what got wrote in the Poet Tree whilst others rode.
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I was jist readin’ bout some fancy letters: Locked letters…
Somethings a jist a right puzzle 😉
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🙂
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D. Avery here with some back story without dialect. Kid and Pal just showed up one day as characters who live and work at Carrot Ranch. Their flashes became all dialogue at some point as they became weekly regulars at the Ranch. More made up characters were roped into their stories, and I am pretty sure that they are all included in this story. Kid especially has become more and more independent, says he identifies as real. Hence the story written by A. Kid. Kid also writes buckaroo-ku and some flash. Nowadays Kid and Pal have been given room to stretch in the Saddle Up Saloon, the Monday posting at Carrot Ranch that features interviews, karaoke, recipes, art shows, and now twice monthly guest hosted poetry challenges. Stop by sometime! And thank you for commenting here, Kid will be thrilled.
https://carrotranch.com/category/saloon/
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Thanks for sharing the back story, D. I think Kid did a great job on his short story for Story Chat.
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I’m not a Carrot Ranch regular – just found the place a while ago – and I’m not even gonna try the accent, but this sounds like fun. It’s an irreverent mix of story and random characters (none that I’ve met before, but I know them). And there’s a strong sense of not taking yourself seriously that seems almost – well – British.
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Good analysis, Cathy. As I’ve been reading British authors, it seems they do have that “irreverent…, not taking themselves too seriously” attitude in common.
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Lovely crazy story. Interesting you had Doc Ranger pondering genre as I was already wondering if this was memoir, fiction or BOTS. I’m always in awe of how you weave these characters, D, and Marsha, your images are so cleverly crafted. I especially like the first, with Kid relaxing in the shade.
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Anne, kin it be BOTS if the author’s a fictional character from a virtual ranch? But I’ll take that ta mean it reads real which is real pleasin’ ta me. Them pictures mess with how I see things but reckon I need ta git used ta other folks’ visuals, ya know, like in case this gits picked up by netflix er some sech.
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Sorry Kid, I ain’t no artiste. Y’all kin do better next time. Netflix has themselves real artiste-types on the payroll. I jest got meself.
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Meant no offense ta yer artistery, jist meant I always prefer the book ta the movie an’ druther have no pictures in my books. (Less they’re picture books) Do ‘preciate the pizzazz a this post, fer sure.
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Kid, I can’t lie. I taught kindergarten, then first, second, and fourth grades. I think in pictures. Give me a good coloring book and I’ll write you a story. 🙂 But meanwhile I’m going to leave the story-writing to you and Pal. 🙂
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No worries, Kid. However, I do take the authors’ wishes seriously. I removed two of the pictures from the body of the type.
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Crafted, you say? Them is photos, Miss Anne. It could be Ornery Ernie from the looks on his sad face. Took ’em myself standing right outside the saloon! Well and back on da ranch. I been workin on my accent so I can sound as real as Kid an Pal. Whatcha think?
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Not corny at all with a piglet involved. Fun writing, D. Your mind is full of characters and cleverness.
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Fun writin’ D??? Did ya read the by line, Miz Mills? But ya got it write ’bout my piglet. Curly saved the day, showed up them dogs a Slim’s. Could yer little Mause a done that?
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If there’s no corn at the ranch, what good is it? Corn was the top crop of my home state where I growed up. Ain’t notin wrong wid a bit of corn,. Y’hear?
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Oops, I’m guessing that you’re talking to the wrong person here, Charli. Just a warning, Kid’s a bit sensitive today. You know how it is when you’re a writer and someone gives someone else besides you the credit for a story. LOL Be careful going into the saloon today. 🙂
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Wow, you never know what kind of networking is going on both at Story Chat and in the Saloon. This is super! I love it! 🙂
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What a fun story. Marsha, you’re a great hostess as always!
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Thanks, Goldie. Let me know when you want to submit a story. It’s a lot of fun. 🙂
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It definitely sounds enticing.
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Be enticed. Doug Jacquier is on for April and another writer friend of mine, Anne Stormont is signed up for May. I need someone for June. I think you would be perfect.
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Can you share some guidelines with me? Topic, word count, goal, etc?
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It’s super open. 500-1,000 words, fiction or non-fiction, unpublished. https://tchistorygal.net/story-chat-2/
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I will think on it. Definitely tempting. Any way I could aim for July instead of June? That might be more doable for me.
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That works for me. 🙂
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Plunge in, Goldie, I can recommend it.
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Now that’s high praise. We did have fun, didn’t we, Anne? And after all now Ms. Thompson is almost as famous as Diana. 🙂
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Thanks fer comin’ over fer a read, Miz Goldie. Mebbe I kin put ya in a story or better yet mebbe we kin git ya inta the saloon fer a innerview someday.
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Sure, why not?!
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This was delightful, and all Kid’s and Pal’s friends in one place. Thank you D. and Marsha.
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Kid and Pal have friends all over. I’d buy them a drink at the saloon, but they’re just too young. 🙂
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No we ain’t too young! Pal’s older an’ dirt an’ I’m old enough, though I still don’t know better. Writin’ an’ ranchin’ an’ runnin’ a saloon gits me mighty thirsty.
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Then it sounds like I’d better buy you all something to drink next time I visit the saloon – which will be soon, since I’m a regular there now. Everybody knows my name! I have friends that hang out there. 🙂
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Thanks fer comin’ by fer a read, Miz Sue.
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hahahaha and they say we all speak English.. 😉
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LOL Well, all y’all, it do sound differnt in some of dem der places.
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Whut?
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LOL
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Thanks fer publishin’ an’ all Marsha, but I’m now wunnerin’ if mebbe this is too… corny.
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Reblogged this on ShiftnShake and commented:
Kid has escaped the Ranch Yarn pages again! Kid has a story featured at Story Chat. Check it out.
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Thanks for the reblog, D. I’m sure Kid will be a household word by the end of March. 🙂
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