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A Tall Tale By An Average Size Boy

Written by: Paula Terrill

In Collaboration with Edward Haney

Illustrations by: Kara-Lynn Smith

My name is Edward. I know what you are thinking, that is a boring and common name. That’s true, but I am not boring or common. I am the most amazing person you will ever meet because my family is famous! Not like movie stars. Better than that.

Chef Paula

My mom is the best baker in the world. Just for fun, she decided to make a chocolate pudding pie big enough for everyone in the state of California to share it.

She didn’t have a big enough bowl for that, so she used the Grand Canyon to mix everything together.

When it was done mixing, she didn’t have a refrigerator big enough to chill it, so she had it flown to the North Pole. It took 200 helicopters to get it off the ground.

My dad is the nicest guy you will ever meet. He holds doors for people. He always remembers to say please and thank you. He loves kids and animals, and even old people. He loves animals so much that he is a wild animal rescuer in Africa.

Wildlife Rescuer Joey

Every week, he gets on his super fast speed boat and travels to Africa to save animals that are sick or injured. Last week, he met a cheetah with a toothache. The cheetah told my dad (you see my dad speaks cheetah) that he had been eating too many berries because he didn’t want to hurt the gazelles and the sugar in the berries caused a cavity.

My dad pulled the tooth and made a necklace for the cheetah to keep forever.

My grandpa may be the most amazing person of all time. When you first meet him, he is quiet and friendly, but don’t let that fool you. He is a knife maker during the day, but in his spare time, he wrestles bears.

Knifemaker Grandpa

This one time we were camping when a great big brown bear came running towards our camp. It was so scary, but my grandpa jumped in front of him and flipped him over. My grandpa is so strong, when he threw that bear to the ground; he caused a great big hole that went all the way through the middle of the mountain. After that, they changed the name of the mountain to Mount Vesuvius.

There was another time we came across a Yeti. That’s a Big Foot that is all covered in snow. It was three times taller than my grandpa and weighed at least a ton. My grandpa scared him so bad, he ran away so fast that it caused an avalanche and buried all the Yeti’s in the snow. That’s why no one can find the Yeti’s anymore.

Yeti and Eddie

I know it is hard to believe from someone with the name Edward, but take my word for it, my family is the most wonderful family ever.

10 replies »

  1. Yay!!! I love it too! So happy we finally got it all together. Thanks for the love Marsha Marsha and of course from Ivette as well.

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Marsha

Marsha

Hi, I'm Marsha Ingrao, a retired educator and wife of a retired realtor. My all-consuming hobby is blogging and it has changed my life. My friends live all over the world. In November 2020, we sold everything and retired to the mile-high desert of Prescott, AZ. We live less than five miles from the Granite Dells, four lakes, and hundreds of trails with our dog, Kalev, and two cats, Moji and Nutter Butter. Vince's sister came with us and lives close by. Every day is a new adventure.

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